I just broke up with my boyfriend... n i cant cope with it.. my 1st bf ped away.. d second is a freek!!?

its like this.. my first boyfriend died from lung cancer,, the sad thing is he dint bother to tell me anything about it.. he's d first guy i really gave my heart to.. and until now.. i cant forget him .. wateva i do.. i still cant forget him.. then i tried to have another boyfriend..n this time it was ith my friend whom i've known more longer than my first boyfren.. we broke up once coz he said he juz wanted my boy.. a while after that,, we got back 2gether.. well... he gave me a reasonable explanation.. i like him.. but my heart was not for him.. n i dont wanna lose him at the same time.. then one day,, he told me that we are not ment to be together.. bcoz hiz mum dint agree to our relationship.. n we broke up.. i wasnt hurt at all bcuz i dont love at all.. but its just i cant cope with it..